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Such is the state of toxicity in the British media, both the musician and director preferred to be billed as ‘anon’, but nevertheless both have done a great job. Audio mixed and recorded by Wayne McIntyre

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Sometimes … when I’m all alone … late at night … I pour myself a glass of wine … sit down in front of my computer … and type in your name … And there you are … on YouTube … talking … like you do … and they’re all shouting at you and putting you down … and you just carry on … And I don’t know … I think … I think … I think …

I could be in love with Nigel Farage
Secretly in love with Nigel Farage
I’m looking at you, Nigel Farage
I’m dreaming at night of Nigel Farage

He’s so brave and he speaks so well.
He is consistent, though they smear him like hell.
He stands tall and he dresses so well.
He likes a pint and a fag as well.

I’ve fallen for in love with NF
I’m secretly in love NF
I want to have a pint with Nigel Farage
Maybe give a full-body massage

No more distant unaccountable bureaucratic bodies with Nigel Farage
No more Common Agricultural Policy with Nigel Farage
No more EU fisheries quotas with Nigel Farage
Sovereignty restored with Nigel Farage.