Category: Comedy

Oh, bollocks!

To whet your appetite, some stills from my next vid …

With music by Noah Fleetwood and directed by Mark Jackson this one is a belter. It premieres on YouTube on Thursday at 19.30 GMT. See you there.

Flogging merchandise

Get your Anthems for the Excommunicated CDs!

The Full Monty – Anthems and Libertarian Love Songs – is £20 . Try the button below.

(For those who prefer a digital-only version, please try Bandcamp)

And if you just want Libertarian Love Songs, that’s a tenner

Anthems for the Excommunicated

Delighted to announce December 1st sees the release of Anthems for the Excommunicated, my tricky second album.

I can think of no better Christmas pressie than a collector’s item, signed, first edition CD.

Whether to confirm the intolerable biases of your Leave-voting uncle or infuriate your irritating, brainwashed nephew, these unacceptable songs are guaranteed to bring cheer to the all the family on Christmas day.

For those who prefer a digital-only version, please try Bandcamp.

With classics such as I’m Gonna Marry, Gary, Arise Sir Nigel and I Am a White Man and I’m Sorry, and, of course, the 2020 Remix of 17 Million Fuck-Offs – A Song About Brexit, what better stocking filler than a signed CD.

Cost £12 including postage to the UK/EU. Cost falls if you buy multiple copies (eg for your work mates). If you want it dispatched outside the UK, can you email me first – frizzers at gmail.com

If you want to go for a Full Monty and get a signed CD of Libertarian Love Songs as well, that’s £20 (email me if you want it sent outside the UK). Try the button below.

It’s a heck of an album, even thought I say so myself, and if you buy the CD you get a bonus track which doesn’t feature on Bandcamp or Spotify versions.

I thank you

I’m Gonna To Marry Gary

Featuring yours truly and various comics who mostly prefer to go by the name anon, except for John Fothergill (Mate 2) and Lewis Schaffer (Barry).

Music by Noah Fleetwood. Audio mixed by Wayne McIntyre.

LYRICS:

DOM:
I’ve fallen so in love with this girl
Her name is … Gary
My mates says say Gary isn’t actually a girl
I don’t care
I want to marry Gary
MATE 1:
Is this some kind of joke
Gary is a bloke
DOM:
I don’t care
I want to marry Gary
MATE 2:
This is just absurd
Gary’s not a bird
DOM
I don’t care
I want to marry Gary
DOM
Gary likes football and quizzes and going down the pub
And in the summer time she hangs out at the cricket club
I’m wanna marry Gary
MATE 1
Gary’s got a beard
You’re being very weird
DOM
I don’t care
I want to marry Gary
MATE 2:
She opens the batting
She looks like Mike Gatting
DOM
I don’t care
I wanna marry Gary
Gary’s having time off from her job. She’s a scaffolder
Cos at the weekend playing rugby, she dislocated her shoulder
MATE 1
You’re having a laugh
Gary plays scrum half
DOM
I don’t care
I want to marry Gary
MATE 2
Gary’s not a dame
The clue is in his name
DOM
I don’t care
I want to marry Gary
Gary likes steak and baked potato for her tea
And then she’ll watch a science programme on Discovery
I’m going to marry Gary
MATE 1:
Gary’s got a van
Gary is a man
DOM:
I don’t care
I want to marry Gary
MATE 2:
He’s got a hairy back
And a hairy sack
DOM
I don’t care
I’m going to marry Gary
Gary says gender is nothing more than a social construct
My mates say Gary’s talking out of her rectal duct
I’m going to marry Gary
MATE 1
It’s not hard to tell
This will not end well
DOM
I don’t care
I’m going to marry Gary
MATE 2
You’ll have a nasty shock
Gary’s got a cock
DOM
I don’t care
I’m going to marry Gary
MATE 1
We’ve been here before
Several times before)
DOM
I don’t care
BOTH MATES
There was your girlfriend Barry
And then before that Harry
And what became of Larry?
DOM:
I don’t care
Gary, Gary, Gary

Calling All Libertarians

Wherever you are in the world, we need your help.

We are making a video of the National Anthem of Libertaria, and would like you to be in it.

Due to Covid 19, our original plans for the anthem have changed and we are now going to film it in the style of a virtual choir. Take a look at the screenshots of Eric Whitacre’s virtual choir to get an idea what I mean:

Please can you video yourself, your friends, your family singing along to the National Anthem and send us the video?

You do not need to be able to sing – we already have the song recorded. We just need the video of you singing along to it.

Please share this message far and wide. The more people we get singing this better.

We want people from everywhere in the world. It does not matter what age, sex, nationality or race you are. We want kids, teenagers, the middle aged, centenarians. We want able bodied and disabled, gay and straight, white, black and everything in between. From youthful Kalahari tribesman to aged Eskimo, from glamorous to plain, from famous to unknown, we want you. 

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Please film this with as good a quality camera or phone as possible. The better the quality of your video, the better chance you will feature prominently. Use a tripod or selfie stick if you can. Perhaps get a friend or family member to film you.

2. You can film yourself in wide shot, mid-shot (from the waist up) or close up. 

3. Dress however you like, the bolder the better

3. The lyrics to the song are here. You either print them off,  read them off YouTube, learn them, if you like. There are also free teleprompter apps you can use on your phone. Whichever you chose, keep the lyrics/phone out of shot. 

4. The music to sing along too is on YouTube – or on the MP3 below (which you can download here).

5. Look down the lens as you sing, smile a lot – and sing heartily! 

6. You do not need to sing the first verse. You can begin at “Taxation of a form of theft” or “Free markets and free trade are best”

7. Please try and make sure you are decently lit. If filming outside avoid bright sunlight. The “golden hour” – an hour or so before sundown – is usually a good time. The better the quality of your video, the better the chance of featuring prominently. Ideally, get someone who knows what they are doing to film you – and then you film them.

8. Once recorded please share your video with us via WeTransfer, Google Drive, iCloud, Dropbox etc. Our email address is libnatanthem@gmail.com . Please don’t compress the files as that loses quality – keep the files as big and high quality as possible. (If you’re not sure how to share videos, get a friend to help you or try google. Drag and drop via WeTransfer is the simplest way)

9. Deadline is Sunday July 5th. Please share this far and wide

10. Any questions send me an email frizzers at gmail.com