Category: Comedy

17 Million Fuck Offs – A Song About Brexit

I put this together a fortnight ago:

Please help take this song to number one by buying a copy of the single. Here is the link to Amazon (you have to ignore or cancel the invitation to sign up for Amazon music and click through to buy the song for 99p). Here is the link to the iTunes store (again ignore the solicitations to sign up to Apple music and click through to the iTunes store). They don’t make it easy to buy a single these days.

Credits:
Written and performed by Dominic Frisby
Music composed and played by Martin Wheatley (based on a traditional Devon folk song)
Video directed by anon (he doesn’t want to give his name cos it might prejudice other work – that’s how ridiculous things have got)
Audio mixed and recorded by Wayne McIntyre
Assistant director Mark “Yeti” Cribbs

Lyrics:
On the 23rd of June, 2016
The people of the United Kingdom – and Gibraltar – went to vote
On an issue that for some had been burning for years
The question in full – and unaltered – was – I quote

Should the United Kingdom remain a member of the European Union
or leave the European Union?

It was the greatest democratic turnout in British history, I do not scoff
And when the time came to speak the British said fuck off.
Fuck off.

Campaigning had gone on for many a month
With debate and discussion on many a front
They’d argued they’d fought they’d smeared and pulled stunts
There was David Cameron. Theresa May. George Osborne.
Tony Blair. John Major. The BBC.
The British told them to fuck off. The British told them to fuck off.

If you vote to leave, you’ll lose your job
Vote to leave, you’ll lose your home.
The ensuing recession will last for years
Said David Cameron. Theresa May. George Osborne.
And the Treasury. Tony Blair. John Major. The BBC.
The Bank of England. Mark Carney. The EU. The IMF. The US president. Saint Obama. Back of the cue. Loads of celebrities. Gary Lineker. JK Rowling. Benedict Cumbertwat. Lord Adonis. Who the fuck’s he anyway?
The British told them to fuck off. Seventeen million fuck offs.

They wheeled in the experts to tell us what’s right
They gave us the benefit of their foresight
To leave is calamitous, that’s definite.
Food shortages. No medicine. Planes grounded. House price crash. ½ a million jobs lost. Cost of £4,300 to every home. Stock market collapse. Riots. No sandwiches.There’d be an outbreak of super gonorrhea. They seriously said that. Donald Tusk at the EU said it would be the end of Western civilization as we know it. I’m not joking. And one more thing. If you vote to leave, that makes you racist.
The British told them to fuck off. Seventeen million fuck offs.

The vote is final, there’s no going back
Although now they want to go back and re-vote
I think we know what the answer will be
To Gary Lineker. Alastair Campbell. Dominic Grieve. Chuka Umana. Keir Starma. Vince Cable. Anna Soubry (not a Nazi). Rory Bremner. Armando Ianucci. Delia Smith. Steve Coogan. David Lammy. Lord Adonis. Who the fuck’s he anyway?
The British will tell them fuck off. 17 million fucks offs.

ISRC#: TCAED1904492

Dominic Frisby’s Financial Gameshow

I very excited to be going to the Edinburgh Festival this August. My show is called Dominic Frisby’s Financial Gameshow. It’s at 5pm at the Gilded Balloon.

Here’s the blurb:

Dominic Frisby, the world’s only financial expert and comedian, is host and quizmaster in this classic gameshow full of fascinating financial facts. Contestants from the audience (willing volunteers only) can win big prizes including £500 in cash – there is £500 to be won every show – solid silver and bitcoin cash. Games range from higher-lower for house prices to to high-pressure quiz questions with the £500 jackpot at stake. Exciting, informative, amusing. What’s not to like?

‘Very witty… entertaining and educational… impressive’ (The Times).
‘Funny, absorbing… full of historical insights’ (The Spectator).

We have got some great prizes for the winners: silver bullion kindly donated by Ross Norman at Sharps Pixley; Moneyweek subscriptions (thank you Merryn); bitcoin cash; and a £500 jackpot each show, donated by a mystery sponsor whose name is yet to be announced.

I rather like the pic (taken by Steve Best) with some groovy graphic design from John Griffiths at Lua Design.

Tickets have now gone on sale. Book early to avoid disappointment, as they say.

Or please come and see a preview.

May 22 Downstairs at the King’s Head. (Crouch End in North London)
June 7 The Star (Plumstead in south east London)
July 4 somewhere in Leicester (I haven’t yet got the details) and
July 24 Downstairs at the King’s Head (Crouch End in North London)

I need to get some more previews booked in, so if anybody has an event that they need an hour-long gameshow at, please let me know …

That’s about it, I think. Pip pip. See you soon.

More Money Than Sense. Sunday November 5th Radio 4

A date for your diaries, folks – this Sunday November 5th at 19.15. Ignore the fireworks and instead tune into Radio 4 for the pilot episode of More Money Than Sense, a new comedy panel show about finance and economics featuring Andy Zaltzman, Paul Sinha, Gráinne Maguire and Shazia Mirza, with yours truly as host.

If you can’t make it, there’s always iPlayer.

The record went pretty well, so it should be an entertaining 30 minutes.

My thanks to producers Gordon Kennedy, Kevin Muyolo and Alan Nixon for doing a great job. Fingers crossed …